Sunshine & Suitcases

Guys, my spring fever is sky high while the temps stay below 20 degrees here in New Hampshire. Watching my toddler try to play in the concrete snow around our house is the saddest thing!  So when my best friend mentioned how cheap and direct the flight was to Puerto Rico, what else was I going to do but say yes to a weekend trip with her and her sister? My wonderful husband is all for it since he’s been traveling a lot and I am a sherpa momma for our family to go skiing every other weekend. Payback is a wonderful thing.

As I am packing my bags this week I am practically drooling at the pictures of sundresses and beaches in all the catalogs. So, I thought I would share with you my wish list for this summer (a few of them from JCrew Factory and Madewell are coming with me for sure!):

Let’s start with Anthropologie:

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 This dress is also in light blue and raspberry and it is on sale right now. And it looks like it could be rolled into a suitcase and then worn directly to a fancy dinner.

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Tailored buttons + eyelet = match made in Heaven.

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I would like these boots too for what is sure to be a muddy spring.anthropologie2

 Love the simple bohemian vibe these dresses capture! The last one is my favorite but it’s silk – so not practical and super pricey, but a girl can dream.

JCrew Factory:

We have one of these in Kittery, ME about 15 minutes from my house and I love having it so close! Headed there today where I am going to grab a few of these items:

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These shorts with a white Tshirt. All. Summer. Long. jcrew8


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I plan on living in these by the pool.

Madewell: I actually posted about these sunglasses before but they have totally lasted and I still love them. And the tote is just perfect for stuffing with everything I’ll need on the flight.

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This dress just makes me swoon. Also, it is called Tidalwave. So you have to bring it to a sandy vacation, right?

Boden: I usually buy Boden on sale, they have some great clearance prices at the end of season. Here is what I will be scouting in the months to come:

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I want these sandals in every color, but I actually have a pair of silver metallic sandals from Boden from a few years ago that I still love. They are already in my bag.boden5

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Pink and green = my favorite color combo.

boden7I also want this top in every color to go with the cute JCrew shorts.

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This necklace is the perfect accessory for a trip since it goes with maxi dresses, shorts and a Tshirt or a bathing suit and cover up. Love.

Thanks for getting into the spirit of sunshine and beaches with me! I will be sharing the yummy food we get over on Instagram so feel free to view Puerto Rico through my (very short) window this weekend.

Curried Pumpkin Coconut Soup

IMG_5474One of the things that made me want to do the Whole30 was because I genuinely love vegetables and finding new things to do with them.

Unfortunately, I also really love cheese. And bread. And wine. So, my Whole30 was a Whole14.

I feel like I need to be honest here because I laid it out for you lovely readers that I was doing the Whole30 and because maybe you thought, hey, should I try that too?

Well, yes and no.

Yes if you have any health issues, especially with digestion or allergies or asthma or insomnia and you want to find out if there is a food that is causing it. Because I think the only way to get through the month is if your life depended on it. (Just kidding. I am totally weak, I know.) Seriously, many people have had life-long issues clear up with this diet. So I do think it is great. I just don’t happen to have any. I did it because I wanted to lose weight.

But if you are already eating healthy and do most of the things you are supposed to do (thinking of you Molly!), then maybe just track your eating because this is one restrictive diet. I read one blogger post “you’re not the boss of me Whole30!” And like the rebellious teenager that I am, I agreed and promptly ate some greek salad and had a glass of red wine. The days 11,12,13, and 14 were so hard and I kept waiting for it to get easier but it didn’t. It was admittedly a very hard week with my husband out of town and sick kids (excuses I know!) so that may have sucked my will power dry. But I do well with a varied diet that gives me energy to work out and relieve stress. (You will have no energy to work out and will only want to sleep. If I had stuck it out I might have found some new energy, but I thought eating toast might be easier). I can only hope that spring and summer running will take care of the last of the baby weight for me because I love food too much, according to the founders of whole30 and everyone who has ever read this blog.

I did find some delicious recipes however. My loss (or lack thereof) is your gain.

Here is one that I totally fell in love with. It was posted by someone in my Whole30 Facebook group. It is so simple I had to try it, and with this few number of ingredients, it will be a staple in my house.

When I first made it, I was probably so desperate for something interesting that I ate it without pureeing it and I loved it! The next day I used an immersion blender and it just went to a whole other flavor level. It seemed infused with a curry flavor. So definitely use a blender and know that it tastes better the second day.

So, here is the easiest, tastiest, Whole30 compliant recipe I can give you. And if you’ve been missing gluten, dairy, grains, and cheese here on the blog, me too friends. Me too.

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Curried Pumpkin Coconut Soup (printer version here from Recipe.com)

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Directions

  1. Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Cook onion until softened, 5 minutes. Add garlic, curry powder, salt and pepper and cook 1 minute more.
  2. Add broth, water and purée; mix well. Reduce heat to low. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 20 minutes. Stir in coconut milk.
  3. Purée soup in blender in several batches until smooth. Return to saucepan. Reheat and serve.

 

Finding Joy

IMG_1242Last Thursday was a normal day for me. My husband was on a business trip, I woke up, got my three oldest kids on the bus, cared for a feverish toddler and cuddled him on the couch instead of working out. I did the dishes. I made extra coffee.

While I was doing these ordinary things, a woman lay quietly dying in a town next to me, at a hospice home. She had lost her fight against breast cancer. She was a former member of my book club though I didn’t know her. She was almost my age, 37, and had two young kids.

Also circulating this week are the beautiful words of a neurosurgeon Paul Kalanithi, as well as his death from metastic lung cancer.  He was also 37, with one young daughter. Somehow it is our common age that makes these lives, these stories, set up camp in my heart. Being a parent, the one responsible for so many things, the doer of so many tasks, it is easy to think we are invincible. That death can’t touch us because there is breakfast to be made and a school run in 15 minutes.

At the same time, there is new life all around me. It seems like every time I turn around a new baby is being born to my friends, my family, bloggers I read. I went to my nephew’s baptism this past weekend, in a church overflowing with the children of my family and friends. The spirit of young children was so well captured by Paul Kalanithi as he wrote of his final days:

 “Yet there is dynamism in our house. Our daughter was born days after I was released from the hospital. Week to week, she blossoms: a first grasp, a first smile, a first laugh. Her pediatrician regularly records her growth on charts, tick marks of her progress over time. A brightening newness surrounds her. As she sits in my lap smiling, enthralled by my tuneless singing, an incandescence lights the room.

How can one world hold so much? How can one heart?

At the christening, I talked to my friend Dave, whose 7 year old son has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and is adorable and hilarious and has a life expectancy of 27 years.  I think about their family a lot, mostly because they post the funny things he says on Facebook. (Today’s example: When his mom got pulled over by a cop for speeding, he shouted, “Mom, are you going to jail!?” She got a warning.) They recently got turned down for a drug trial that they were really hoping to participate in, to hopefully buy time for their son. His wife Kathy took the news really hard. But Dave said, “I just keep telling her, we have today. We have right now. I choose right now.”

I am in awe of Dave and Kathy. And Paul. And the caretakers of people who will walk the narrow way on this earth. But I think they know something precious from their trials. Young people who have lost a parent, and husbands and wives who have lost their spouse, people with family members battling chronic illness. They know how to find joy, since they have had to cultivate seeking it out. And they know not to take it for granted.

As I waded through another week of a winter that is just hanging on, of colds that are just hanging on, I thought of those hurting, and I thought of Dave and Kathy. And how insignificant (though very real) my cabin cancer + sick kids + husband traveling week was was in the big picture. I had a chat with my heart that was buried under all these layers of coldness and loss and isolation.

Enough. Find some joy.

So I set out to turn my heart around. To chose right now too. I went for a run and took a shower, I bought some flowers and cooked a big dinner for all the people I love. I read to my toddler and five year old. I listened to my chatty first grader about diaries and first grade gossip (which is hilarious). I played chess with my second grader. I prayed.

And something happened. Something really remarkable. By opening up the space in my heart for joy, it had a place to go to. And it came. I don’t know if it was grace, or neurons, or something in our will that lets us choose joy, but it happened.

There is such a vastness wrapped up in the small, insignificant moments of our days. A loved one walking in the door, a belly laugh, the taste of good peach jam on toast. It is hard to catch sometimes, but it’s there. Here’s to seeking it, to being reminded of it, and to letting it rest in our hearts.

 

Fish en Papillote


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I can’t remember where I first heard of Fish en Papillote (Fish in Paper). It’s a classic French method for cooking fish and veggies but do not let that scare you. Ever wrapped a potato in tin foil and baked it? You’ve got the method down pat.

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I am possibly the most excited to share this post of any that I’ve ever done, because I know once you know this method you will have a way to cook fish that is simple, quick (cooks in 10 minutes!) easy, rustic, elegant, and did I mention easy?

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I used to make this a lot when I was trying to eat light after my third baby, and now that I remember how yummy it is, it will be on heavy rotation. Did I mention it is Whole30 compliant?

(You don’t care.)

But trust me, because with these flavors, can it possibly taste awful? {Yes, it can. If you use bad fish.} But if you use good quality fish from a trusted fish monger (love that word), this will turn out so yummy you won’t believe it, especially because you put little to no effort in. These beauties did all the work:

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For the record, I made this before I ever did Whole30 because it is so so good. I feel like this is important to mention because I hate feeling deprived, I love flavor, and this is one of those great dishes that makes you feel indulged without any guilt.

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But for those of you who do care about Whole30 ideas, or are simply eating light as spring is starting to ease its way into our open windows and sunlit doors and you are remembering you might need to put on a bathing suit in a few months, this one’s for you.

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You can use any kind of fish – salmon, sole, mahi mahi, tuna, halibut, etc. Just adjust time for thickness – a thin filet less then an inch thick gets 8 minutes, a thicker one gets 10-12. I used halibut a little on the thicker side and 12 minutes was perfect.

Make sure you chop your vegetables thin so they’ll cook in the same time as the fish (my very bad attempt at julienned veggies). You can easily just slice them very thin crosswise too.

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Oh, and what’s that? No clean up either since you just throw your paper away? It is almost magical how perfect this dish is, isn’t it?

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Fish En Papillote (printer version here)

Preheat your oven to 425, then:

1. Chop your veggies. Pick any veggies you like – snap peas, asparagus, red pepper, zucchini or summer squash, carrots, onions, celery, leeks, mushrooms are all fantastic steamed with fish.  You want to cut them very thin so they steam in the same amount of time as the fish. I julienned mine (badly) but you can just as easily slice them in thin rounds if you are in a hurry.

2. Lay out a rectangle of parchment paper, fold it in half, and lay your fish on one of the halves. Season with salt & pepper and add a pat of butter.

3. Pile on your veggies, followed by herbs – dill is so great with fish, but I’ve loved thyme with white fish too. I have even added herbed mayo to salmon. Season veggies with a little salt and pepper (being careful not to over salt – you can add more to taste after it’s cooked).

4. Drizzle with lemon and olive oil. (White wine is amazing splashed on here too. Just not whole30 approved as you probably know).

5. Starting at one of the corners next to the fold, start to twist the edges on itself so that the paper forms a seal, allowing the steam inside to cook the fish and veggies. You want to take your time and do it carefully because if steam leaks out it may not be fully cooked.

 

 

Crabs In A Bucket: How Brene Brown Could Change Mommy Wars

 

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(Alternate post title: Why Do We Talk About Cupcakes So Much?)

Among the myriad lessons from my childhood is the whole ‘crabs in a bucket’ story. It’s a lesson in resiliency: just like crabs pull down the one that is trying to get free and crawl out of the bucket, human nature has this interesting tendency to pull each other down when we don’t feel our own worth or when we feel threatened or trapped.  I’m pretty sure it was delivered by my parents whenever kids were being mean to us. Pithy metaphors are a busy parent’s best friend and it probably stuck because I heard it so many times.

But I’m sure going to use it on my kids because it’s true. And it covers a whole lot of what I see but sort of feel immune to: competition among moms. Mommy wars. Supermom ideas. I just don’t understand the ideas ‘competition’ and ‘motherhood’ used together.  If we are striving to lead rich, fulfilling lives, and teaching our children to do the same, where does comparing ourselves to other people fit in?

I recently read a post that included tips for new mothers, and at the top of this list was: don’t let what other’s find to be negative suck the joy out of something you enjoy. And I wanted to stitch it on a pillow and put it on my couch. Because mixed in with the whole conversation of motherhood is a tendency to put down the moms who are striving to create, to find their joy. “I can barely get out of my yoga pants, how dare she make a fancy dinner!” or “My kids haven’t stopped fighting and whining, how dare she have a happy crafting afternoon/lunch/trip to the park with her kids!”

I am here to say it is fine to stay in your yoga pants all day. And it is fine to make a fancy dinner and share the recipe. It is fine to be burnt out from kids fighting, and to have a happy day at the park. They are each true experiences of motherhood. One isn’t less real than the the other. And putting down either one because our day was a different experience is pulling each other down. Hopefully we can find solidarity without finding fault.

I’ve been reading a lot of Brene Brown over the past year. You may know from her popular TED talk about The Power of Vulnerability and her book, Daring Greatly. She is a shame researcher, and is very good at thinking about the parts of our life that are really really messy. (Wait, is this post about shame? What exactly are we going to explore here?) In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, she says that if we look at our own striving, we can see if it is motivated to please someone else or to please ourselves. And I think this is where a lot of the confusion comes from. Because some women are striving to please themselves. Especially if you are on the creative side. And others are doing it to feed their worth, or as Shauna Niequist would say, hustling for love. But the only one who needs to determine that is yourself.

For some reason, this topic keeps coming up in the context of cupcakes for our kids. It’s become a symbol of how we ‘do’ motherhood, an easy target. If a mother had a morning to devote to finding her joy in making organic gorgeous cupcakes, for love and mercy’s sake, let her bring in her healthy and cute cupcakes to the school party. Tell her they look great. And if a mother dashed to the grocery store for corn syrup and oil-laden cupcakes, tell her they look great too. If you find yourself judging her, saying ‘my kid is sensitive to sugar!’ or thinking ‘she should have brought fruit, mine is so much healthier’ Brene is gently suggesting that you might wrestle with some standard of motherhood that might be harming everyone, but especially yourself. I am lucky enough to live in a pretty supportive community, but I hear lots of rumblings from other women, in conversations and Facebook and blog posts that make me think Brene Brown is right about shame. Somehow we are mixing up the ‘doing’ of motherhood with the ‘being’ a mother and we are feeling some shame when we think what we do doesn’t measure up to who we should be.

In I Thought It Was Just Me, Brown’s book I am listening to an the Audible app (love it!) she focuses on human connection, how much we are wired for it, and how shame disconnects us. She talks about things like money, weight, style, prestige, or schooling and how they have similar shame and connection issues as the cupcake example. Lightbulbs keep going off about myself and other people when she talks about shame triggers. When we are more aware of them, we can handle them better. And I realized some of the most mystifying interactions I have had with other people are just shame triggers being pulled. Small things that made them defensive and go into attack modes inexplicably. Catty remarks, sarcastic put downs. Her books explain to me why hurt people hurt others. Feelings of shame make people shame others. It’s what makes us act like crabs in a bucket. Shame brings out our worst traits since we aren’t using the part of our brain that is circumspect and empathetic, we are in the part of our brain that is in fight or flight mode. Going back and tweaking my perceptions with this understanding has been really freeing (said everyone in therapy ever).

One of my biggest shame buttons (oh great, even more fun, she is going to tell us about her shame!!) is how messy my house is at any given moment. And my car. And it gets triggered when my friends with really neat houses/cars/garages drop by or need a ride. Even though I love a clean house, I know I regularly choose to play with my kids, make something in the kitchen, get out of the freaking cold or read something interesting over tidying messes (I prefer the term procrastinator to lazy, as I clean up every night, but potato, pah-tah-to). But by understanding the stress or trigger I feel about it, I can own my shame and my mess. And I am freed to make different choices. Like making my kids clean out the car.

Shame is like the zoom button on a camera. We see ourselves as zoomed in up close and we feel alone. But when we can zoom out, we realized many of us share our experiences. We are all human. We are all in different buckets of hardship trying to get free. To process hard things we need to find the people who have empathy, which is very often the people who have gone through the experience too. (We can’t demand that the people who haven’t gone through our experience should understand and be what we need. Lot’s of heartache at the end of that road.) It is the people who think they are going through them alone that are stuck and often hurt and judgmental. And the people who can connect and find others who can say, yes, me too! who are freed and can turn around and free others.

The most important thing I learned from her research is that by seeing our own apparatus at work in shame and worth and connection, and having compassion for ourselves, we grow in our compassion and understanding towards others. What would mommy wars look like if we all read her books?

Do your thang. Let others do theirs without putting them down. The end.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mediterranean Pan Roasted Chicken

 

 

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I am 6 days in to my Whole30 month and I have to say I am loving it. It helps that I am reading It Starts With Food which goes over a ton of science about why you are eliminating things from your plate, so while I am eating I am thinking, ‘my body is healing itself right now, I love this’. And I am also free from the pangs of hunger I usually get through the day which is honestly freedom for me.

In case you are curious about why I am doing it, lean in close because I’ll tell you. First off, please know that I hate fad diets, love learning about nutrition, and don’t believe in ‘get thin quick’ anythings. I love running and working out as a stress reliever, and the way healthy food makes me feel. But I also love wine and salt & vinegar Popchips (the worst nutrition, I know! They are my kryptonite) while watching movies, sigh. C’est la vie de la mère. After I had each of my kids I was usually able to get back to my pre-baby weight. But hi, Andrew is almost 2 and my last 10 lbs. are hanging on no matter what I do. So that is a big part of my motivation.

I feel like I have tried everything with no results, nada. I used to be able to work off my splurges with exercise but after reading the book I realize that unhealthy carbs were sneaking in so much – cheese and crackers here, wine and pop chips there, there and there, that I was stuck in a cycle of always being hungry. I am so thrilled with both the reset and continuing to eat in a way that I know my body will respond too. It really is a big freedom, and it is sort of under the “there is nothing new under the sun” umbrella because this is a Mediterranean diet, it is low-carb (with more veggies, less cheese), it is Paleo, it is everything your doctor tells you you should do and it is in a framework where you know what the benefits are going to be after 30 days. The first time I tried a different but similar cleanse, I didn’t make it past day 12 (a day when they usually tell you you will break, so true!) but I didn’t know the science behind it and I didn’t know my why. I was also fixated on weighing myself to see if it was working, and when then number didn’t go down, I got discouraged. Whole30 doesn’t let you weigh yourself (so smart!) and now that I know what I’m doing I am pretty determined to complete it.

I read The Nesting Place recently and even though it was about decorating and not food, it said constraints can bring out more creativity in us. And that is exactly how I feel about Whole30! I am so excited to eat this way and make something interesting with just really natural ingredients. I was starting at my fridge last night when my favorite flavors started to call me. Artichokes, olives, tomatoes, basil, garlic. Just love them. (Of course, feta cheese makes it great too but I didn’t miss it, really!)

There are 2 big take aways from this recipe: 1) How to pan sear and 2) this bed of onions, garlic, artichokes, spinach, tomato, and olives is so good, and can be used with anything – shrimp, fish, pasta, chicken.

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I hope you can add both of these things to your arsenal of kitchen go-to’s to help your creativity/what should I make for dinner 5 o’clock routine. It is the easiest thing to make too.  I promise! Even if you aren’t doing Whole30 you will feel great after you eat it. Scout’s honor.

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Mediterranean Pan Seared Chicken with Artichokes and Tomatoes (printer version here):

A Whole30 Recipe

Ingredients (Serves 2-3):

1 lb. chicken

1 diced onion

3 diced garlic cloves

1 can quartered artichokes

½ c. chicken broth

1 pint cherry tomatoes

1 package of spinach

½ c. kalamata olives

4-6 basil leaves, cut

(feta, capers optional)

 

For Pan Searing: Pre-heat oven to 425. Turn on an oven safe pan on high heat. Pat dry the chicken, and sprinkle with salt, pepper, and any rubs or seasonings you want to use (I use Emeril’s home rub which lasts me a long time). Then heat 1 T. olive oil (it can take the high temps of the oven the best).  Lay your steak/chicken/etc. in the pan (you should hear a sizzle) and leave it there for 3-5 minutes, so it gets a nice brown crust. Then turn it over when it looks brown enough and do the same thing on the other side. Once the other side is browned, put the pan in the oven for 6-8 minutes (depending on thickness) so the middle cooks. BE CAREFUL when you pull the handle out of the oven, use a towel, and I even tie my towel on there so I remember it is hot.


For the bed of veggies:
Preheat a pan on medium-high heat. Sauté 1 onion, diced in ghee (clarified butter Whole30 allows), butter or olive oil. Then add 3 cloves of garlic and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the can of artichokes and cook for 3 minutes. Add 1/2 cup of chicken broth, salt and pepper, and cook for a few more minutes, reducing the liquid. Then add the spinach, tomatoes and olives for the last 3-4 minutes of cooking. Salt and pepper to taste – I think I added garlic salt too. (Feel free to use other favorite veggies, like broccoli, peppers, carrots, etc.) 

Serve with ribbons of basil on top.